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In 2025, Jimmy Eyebrow is back—and the stakes have never been higher.
When an old friend shows up with a "simple" job, things quickly spiral out of control. Now, Eyebrow and his ragtag crew are on the run, fighting for their survival in a high-octane, chaotic misadventure.
If you’re into adrenaline-packed action with a generous helping of idiocy, the new adventure of Jimmy Eyebrow: Budget Hitman is one escapade you won't want to miss.
Stay tuned for updates on Eyebrow's latest adventure—it’s going to be BIG!
Excerpts from the Upcoming Book
The suite life – how Eyebrow now yearned for the days where he was lounging in luxury at the Imperial Palace, or the Bellagio. What he’d give for a nice seafood buffet at that point. He closed his eyes and bemoaned his life choices. He’d been handed a golden opportunity for a new life there in the idyllic surrounds of Coffee Pond and he’d completely blown it. He had been handed the keys to the kingdom, and he’d slapped them away with his fateful decision to enter private enterprise. The advice he'd been given to forego his idiotic idea now held a lot more weight than Eyebrow had originally given it, and he wished that he had heeded the guidance. Like a man facing the gallows who suddenly becomes born-again, Eyebrow vowed that if he could get out of this situation, he’d turn over a new leaf and commit to it.
Sitting across the table from Bishop and McFadden on this day was a middle-aged birthday party performer, reeking of cigarette smoke and alcohol, and dressed in a bedraggled clown outfit. He had been arrested for exposing himself at a birthday party earlier in the day and given that they were currently assigned to the cases that were either the most unremarkable or least desirable, it had fallen to them, under protest, to conduct the interview.
From leading a multi-jurisdictional taskforce that brought down a Who’s Who of international crime, to now questioning inebriated sexual degenerates – how fortunes can turn on the head of a pin. Bishop, visibly frustrated, was leading the questioning. “I’m just having a little trouble here, Klaus, in understanding how it accidently popped out, as you’re claiming”.
“I swear detective, it was an accident. Here, I need to show you something”, said Klaus the clown as he stood. “These fucking pants, look at the size of ‘em. There’s a gap that’s supposed to be on the back because I do this gag where I bend over, and it looks like I’ve ripped my pants, and everyone can see my jocks. But I put the fucking things on backwards today”. Klaus pointed towards his crotch. “See?”
“Jesus Christ, Klaus, I don’t need to see that”, replied Bishop. “I could probably buy that excuse, if you were actually wearing underwear. I’m just having a tough time believing that not only did you manage to put your pants on backwards, but you also forgot to put on your underwear as well.”
Eyebrow knew that his own slumber wouldn’t be far behind but before closing his eyes, a shower was essential. He peeled off his clothes and deposited them into a plastic bag – this was after all not the first time that a job had gone considerably off the rails, resulting in him being covered in human excrement. Showered and feeling fresh, Eyebrow was so exhausted that he didn’t even bother re-dressing, instead falling into bed completely naked and drifting off within moments of his head hitting the pillow.
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